Thursday, October 10, 2013

Day 24

So, 24 days in. The rules say not to step on the scale for a whole month, and I haven't, but you have no idea how much I want to, how much I just really need to see if I've lost weight, or gained weight, or stayed the same. But I won't. Not until the morning of day 31, when I'm officially done with the Whole30. I can remember a time when I didn't care how much I weighed, not because I was skinny -- I never was -- but just because it didn't occur to me to care about that. Not that I didn't care how I looked, not that I didn't think I needed to exercise/eat better/lose weight, but for some reason it never dawned on me to weigh myself regularly. I'd weigh at the doctor's office, and that was probably about it. I'm pretty sure my current overwhelming desire just to step on the scale and see, because who would know, and I've really done my best to stick to the program, and really, just one little peek at the scale wouldn't hurt anything -- I'm pretty sure that's not really a healthy attitude. Not because weighing yourself in and of itself is bad, but because anything that makes you feel that way, that absolute need to do something, the near obsession with it, can't really be good, can it? 

Now, weight is somewhat important. When I go back to the doctor in a few months, the first thing they'll do is have me step on the scale. It's the easiest way to quickly measure whether my health is improving, staying the same, or getting worse -- at least from their point of view. And even though they'll run blood tests, it'll take a week or so to get those results back, it won't be the thing I'm discussing with the doctor right at that moment, in the office. So it is important, because if I walk into the doctor's office, and I've gained weight, it won't matter how much I argue that I feel better or that I'm eating lots of veggies -- they'll see another patient who quit a diet that was working and ended up worse off than they were before. (I'm a worrier, if you hadn't guessed -- I'm very good at worrying about things that haven't happened yet, that might never happen, but just think how bad it'll be if they do happen. It's not just me, right?) Despite feeling better, despite reading countless testimonials from people who have lost weight on their Whole30, I'm still worried -- I think because so much of it goes against what we've always been taught. 

I'm really trying not to worry about the number on the scale, but the truth is I don't really feel like there's been much change in how my clothes fit, so I am a little worried. And I keep trying to remind myself that unlike people who start their first Whole30 coming from a high-carb, typical American diet, I started mine after several months on a low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie diet -- there's going to be a difference in the results, I'm sure.

Anyway, enough of all of that for tonight. Here's what I ate today:

Breakfast -- leftover cold chicken and breakfast salad with half an avocado

Lunch -- three eggs over a mix of butternut squash, carrots, and half an apple with a little coconut milk (sounds weird, but it was actually pretty tasty)

Supper -- spaghetti squash and meat sauce, half an apple with almond butter

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